As a child, I experienced physical abuse — beatings so intense that I would sometimes end up temporarily paralyzed on the floor, unable to move my legs or walk for at least twenty minutes.

I have struggled with depression since the age of four. Throughout my adolescence and early adulthood, my dad’s constant verbal abuse only deepened that depression. When you are told constantly, over and over, that you are worthless, good for nothing, and will never amount to anything, after a few years of hearing this, you begin to believe it is true. I was always overlooked and invisible to practically everyone — not just by my parents, but by other family members, coworkers, and even friends. The rejection was overwhelming!

At age 19, after experiencing a horrific life event, I entered a very dark season. I faced clinical depression, daily thoughts of suicide, and overwhelming despair—so much so that I attempted to take my life three separate times. At that point, death was more welcoming than to continuing to live this life of pain.

At the age of nine, I turned to Satanism and practiced witchcraft for five years. In that world, I felt accepted and wanted. I had many dark encounters with devils and demons—who gladly did my bidding. But God had other plans for my life!

At fourteen, I had a divine encounter with the very God I had denied even existed. That moment changed everything forever. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and became a born-again Christian. For the first time in my life, I felt truly free and accepted and deeply wanted. It was a transformation unlike anything I had ever known.

You might be asking, “Where was God when you were going through all the hell you had to live through?”, “Why did He not stop it?” The truth is, God—who knows the beginning from the end—saw the bigger picture. He knew that one day I would be able to take all I had endured and use it for His glory. The many scars I now carry have become tools to help others find healing, restoration, and hope. They allow me to walk with people through their own pain and help them move forward into the life God has prepared for them.

And yes, as crazy as it sounds, now I am thankful for all I had to endure – none of which was in vain. Now I get to use the pain of my past to help others discover a future filled with purpose, freedom, and the love of Christ.