According to Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital (2021), statistics reveal that nearly 8% of children and adolescents suffer from an anxiety-related disorder (Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital, 2021). That number only increased due to the COVID-19 pandemic and its resulting effects. Unfortunately, we live in a day and age of stress and anxiety unlike any we have ever seen. Many are indicating that it will take years to fully realize the impact of the potential mental health tsunami on our kids. 

Although there are several contributing factors relating to this stress and anxiety, one of the most prominent that I often see in my work with high school and collegiate athletes, as well as youth in my clinical practice, revolves around pressure to perform. HELLO! magazine (2020) identified some of the most common stressors our youth and next generation face today, including the pressure to perform in school, specifically on exams; the pressure to perform within athletic competition; peer pressure and the desire to fit in; and the pressure to meet the demands and expectations within the home. Many kids are getting lost and desperately “white knuckling” their way through life with little or no help. However, one of my greatest joys is devoting my time and effort to helping our youth, adolescents, and young adults thrive under pressure. 

If you recall, in psychologist Erik Erikson’s eight stages of psychosocial development, he reminds us of a very pivotal fifth stage known to be experienced during adolescence, approximately between the ages of 13-19 years old when children begin seeking independence, increasing peer interaction/influence, and structuring a sense of identity by asking questions such as, “Who am I?” or “How do I fit in?” (Maree, 2020; Wong et al., 2015). Unfortunately, many of those answers in our culture and society have to deal with whether or not a person makes the team, wins the big game, or gets a good grade. Therefore, when the stakes are at their highest, many kids, especially those growing up with lots of brokenness and lack a sense of stability to keep them anchored, become incredibly stressed, afraid, and/or anxious. This mentality is typically a result of believing that if they do not perform to the level expected or demanded of them, they will no longer be accepted or feel as if they belong. However, I believe these high-pressure moments can be viewed as windows of opportunity. With intentional preparation, I think the next generation can embrace the pressure and confidently run into the storms of life.

THREE PRINCIPLES TO PERFORMING AT YOUR BEST UNDER PRESSURE

The following three principles are positive outlooks that can help young people overcome their anxiety and shape the future of the next generation.  

  1. Perspective Steers Potential. We have all heard the old saying, “Pressure can burst a pipe, or it can make a diamond.” In simpler terms, pressure either brings out the best or the worst in people. To make sure it brings out the best, I love introducing people to a quote one of my favorite motivational speakers, Inky Johnson, always says: “How you VIEW what you do will always affect how you DO what you do” (Undefeated Motivation, 2021). In other words, we often get out of life precisely what we look for in life. When facing a high-pressure situation where someone needs to perform to the very best of their ability, rather than viewing it as a stressful obligation, I always try to help them reframe their perspective and view it as businessman, motivational speaker, and personal trainer, Tim Grover, would call a “privilege” or an “opportunity” (Grover & Wenk, 2014). 

Research has continually shown that developing a positive expectancy, no matter the situation, can have life-changing results such as increasing self-esteem, lessening fear and anxiety, developing resilience and mental toughness, and even improving physical health (Make Me Better, 2019). I believe pressure, like adversity, is what we must work through to produce the growth and development we ultimately desire in life. Although pressure may sometimes induce stress and anxiety, when viewed with the proper perspective, it may just be an individual’s opportunity to separate themselves and rise to the top. 

  1. Preparation Determines Separation. I have never met a kid who did not want to succeed, but I have met several who lack the discipline and commitment that success requires. Another favorite Inky Johnson quote reminds us of this: “In the midst of challenge or adversity, you never rise to the occasion; you simply revert back to your training” (Undefeated Motivation, 2021). However, as previously stated, many kids grow up in broken homes and families without someone to look up to and serve as a positive example. Therefore, the question I desire to help many find a productive answer to is: How do we train for our trials? Former great professional basketball player, Michael Jordan, once said, “It’s what happens in empty gymnasiums that fill arenas.” 

One of the most well-known theories in mental healthcare that I often practice and teach involves Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). When struggling with stress and anxiety, CBT works to help individuals identify their negative or intrusive thoughts, stop/challenge them in the moment, and then replace them with something positive and true. Spiritually speaking, Philippians 4:6 (NKJV) is a perfect reminder for those struggling with stress and anxiety as it says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” I have heard Pastor Craig Groeschel state that stress and anxiety are signals alerting us that it is time to pray. Philippians 4:8 (NIV) says that we are called to meditate on the truth of God’s Word, noting, “… if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” The mind is clearly a battlefield; therefore, we must prepare ourselves daily to take our thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). 

  1. Power in Relationships. The truth is every kid needs someone who will undoubtedly be there for them—to believe in them—someone who will remind them of their worth no matter the situation, circumstance, or result. Kids crave the words, “I’m proud of you,” in both moments of victory and defeat. This encouragement is precisely why I love counseling and emphasize pouring into those who have the opportunity to regularly impact and influence our youth, adolescents, and young adults. We are the ones who have been entrusted with the responsibility and opportunity to remind them of their potential even when they may not quite see it for themselves. 

In sports, I often say there are two major types of coaches: recruiter coaches and relational coaches. Recruiter coaches have a relentless drive and can recognize talent, but they are highly result-driven and oriented. They typically have a “set in stone” structured way of doing things reverting to the “my way or the highway” mentality. Unfortunately, these coaches often leave kids believing their worth, value, and identities are attached to their performance. I have seen a lot of talent and gifts get wasted due to a coach, teacher, and even a mom or dad who possessed this mindset. Unfortunately, they are unwilling to take the time to be ATTUNED to their players, students, or children. 

However, on the contrary, relational coaches take a much different approach. They have the same drive and desire to win but emphasize developing the individual, doing everything possible to get every last drop of effort and ability out of their players. Relational coaches care about the process more than the result. Through the power of encouragement, they consistently SHOW UP and pour into the lives of their players. As Daniel Siegel, a neuropsychiatrist and author, and Tina Payne Bryson, a child and adolescent psychotherapist and parenting expert (2020), note, when a child feels confident that they can count on an attachment figure to consistently SHOW UP for them through reliably providing safety, focusing on seeing their emotional needs, and soothing them amid difficulty, they can then begin to develop and trust the secure attachment. 

Having someone who is crazy about you reminds you of your worth, value, identity, and place in this world. There is POWER in RELATIONSHIPS, and I believe if we attune ourselves to the next generation and better understand when to support and when to challenge, it will significantly impact the trajectory of their lives and those with whom they interact. 

Zach Clinton, M.A., is a doctoral student in the Counselor Education & Supervision program at Liberty University. He currently serves full-time in a leadership role at the American Association of Christian Counselors. Further pursuits include serving as a resident counselor at Light Counseling, where he primarily works with youth and the next generation. Zach also fulfills the role of President & Host of the Ignite Men’s Impact Weekend and hosts The Built Different Podcast. A former Division I college baseball player and now chaplain of the Liberty University baseball team, Zach is a recognized growing authority and voice on performance and mental health for today’s generations.

References

Grover, T.S., & Wenk, S.L. (2014). Relentless: From good to great to unstoppable (Tim Grover winning series). Schribner. 

Hello! magazine. (2020). 6 common causes of stress in children. https://www.hellomagazine.com/healthandbeauty /mother-and-baby/2020022785479/stress-in-children-teenagers-causes/?viewas=amp.

Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital. (2021). Anxiety and stress in teens. https://www.hopkinsallchildrens.org /ACH-News/General-News/Anxiety-and-Stress-in-Teens.

Make Me Better. (2019). The power of positive expectations. https://www.makemebetter.net/the-power-of-positive-expectations/.

Maree, J.G. (2020). The psychosocial development theory of Erik Erikson: Critical overview. Journal of Early Child Development and Care, 191(7-8), 1107-1121. https://doi.org/10.1080/03004430.2020.1845163.

Psychology Dictionary. (2022). Pressure. https://psychologydictionary.org/pressure/.

Siegel, D.J., & Bryson, T.P. (2020). The power of showing up: How parental presence shapes who our kids become and how their brains get wired. Ballantine. 

Undefeated Motivation. (2021). Inky Johnson quotes. https://undefeatedmotivation.com/inky-johnson-quotes/.  
Wong, D.W., Hall, K.H., Justice, C.A., & Hernandez, L.W. (2015). Counseling individuals through the lifespan. Sage.