Matthew 7:21-23 (ESV): “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day, many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'”

These are some of the most sobering words Jesus spoke. They remind us that it’s possible to do things in His name and still not know Him, which is a big deal—especially when it comes to picking a counselor.

It’s very easy, especially in a culture as Christian as ours, to consider something “Christian” when it really isn’t. Appearances can be deceiving; according to Jesus, just because someone uses His name, it doesn’t mean they belong to Him. 

And, listen: sometimes, you can’t tell. Ultimately, only God knows the hearts of men. But while much is hidden from us and nothing is hidden from God, God gives us his word (the Bible) to help us grow in wisdom and discern between truth and untruth, including when you’re looking for a counselor or teacher.

So, when picking a Christian counselor, how do you know who to trust? 

Look Beyond the Labels

Matthew 7 shows us that people can sound spiritual, use Christian words, and even do good works, but not be saved. That even includes many counselors, pastors, and authors–and yes, even many of us.

Advice can sound kind and caring while leading you to worship of self. Such counsel might twist Scripture to fit your feelings or avoid God’s truth altogether—trying to fix the symptoms without touching their root causes, which are ultimately heart issues. It’s important that you find a counselor who can help you take God’s view of the circumstances surrounding your life challenges—patiently and compassionately, but always biblically.

Many “Christian” counselors talk at length about God’s blessings, forgiveness, and mercy (all true), but fail to discuss the hard truths for fear of offending. If someone comes to counseling with trauma-induced identity issues and the counselor says, “You need to discover yourself and live your truth,” “You need to love yourself,” or “God wants you to be the fullest version of you, no matter what that looks like,” that counselor is not a Christian. 

That message echoes the world, not the Word. The Christian’s identity is not found in the inner man, feelings, experiences, or self-expression—it’s found in being made new in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). A biblical counselor will tenderly expose the lies you’re believing and help you rebuild or strengthen your identity on the unshakable foundation of the gospel.

Ask the Right Questions

You should sense a clear, undeniable alignment with God’s truth in the way your counselor listens, asks questions, steers your conversation, and speaks correction. They will shepherd your soul and bring you closer to God. They won’t treat God as an accessory or an optional part of the counseling process.

Ask:

    • Does my counselor have a rich understanding of biblical doctrine?
    • Can they help me wrestle through life’s hardest questions—like suffering, evil, depression, and the sovereignty of God—with Scripture? 
    • Will they teach me to meditate on God’s Word, to seek His face in prayer, and to find my identity in Christ—not in my performance, trauma, or desires?
    • Do they lead me toward change and hope, instead of some form of self-reliance?

If the prevailing answer to these questions isn’t “Yes,” keep looking.

Here are a few more that can help:

    • How do you think about the role of sin and personal responsibility in someone’s healing journey?
    • Define sanctification and what role it plays in your counseling process.

Their answers don’t have to be perfect, but they should show that they take God’s truth (the Bible) seriously. A counselor who wants to help you “feel better” more than they want to help you follow Jesus is not the right choice.

If you sense that a counselor avoids hard truths, doesn’t talk about sin, or gives advice that goes against Scripture, listen to that check in your spirit. Jesus said the ones who enter the kingdom are those who do the will of His Father. Make sure your counselor can help you do just that.

Not everyone who says “Lord, Lord” is trustworthy. But those who know Him, love Him, and call you to follow Him? That’s a different story. Asking prodding questions as you choose a counselor will go a long way in making sure the help you find is truly Christian.

Pray that God would guide you to the right counselor—one who will show you the love of Christ with gentleness and patience while pointing you to His word.