My sister Darian was an exceptional, well behaved child.  She was also a model for the Sears Catalog and was going to be in tv commercials.  She would get me up and feed me so my mother could sleep in when she was 5 years old.  When my other took me to the pediatrician and complained that something was wrong with me.  She described that I was in to everything and sticking my fingers in the electric sockets and she could never turn her head for a second.  The doctor said I was normal and she just got lucky with the first one, Darian.

When I was 2.5 years old my 5 yr old sister, Darian was hit by a dump truck in front of our house.  People from the Christian Day Care Darian attended, had comforted my mother.  The stress on my parents’ marriage makes it no surprise that there’s a 90% divorce rate with the death of a small child.  My mother tried to talk to my dad as a part of the grieving process but he would just get angry and did not want to even hear Darian’s name. He got into real estate and sold a house to a sweet lady, Margie, who just loved on everyone.  He told my mother to go and talk to Margy about Darian.  My mother was drawn to how much Margie cared for her and my mother started turning to Margy to vent and cope with her loss.

My father turned to drinking more to numb the enormous pain, guilt and emptyness.  My father grew up Catholic and felt God took away Darian as they got pregnant with her before they were married.  He was so drunk one day he broke his back going 100mph on my uncles motorcycle in Sebring Florida.  He did every drug except heroin for several years and started having an affair with one of my moms friends.  When my mother would accuse him of cheating on her or would ask where he was he would take her by the neck and punch holes in the wall around her face.

3 years after Darian’s death Margy lead my mother to the Lord and my father ran from God.  Then my mother put me in a Christian school where I learned about God in the meantime at home my father was bullying my mother and me with emotional and physical abuse.  5 years after my sister died I came home from my school and asked my mother to help me to become a Christian.  She lead me to Christ while I we were on my knees beside my bed that night.  While this was happening there was still a lot of abuse at home and I was acting out at school and I was getting C’s and D’s on my report card.  I was in the principals office every week for being a bully on the playground.  See I was bullied by my father and became a bully my self at school.

6 years after my sister died my parents would separate off and one for 18 months and would file for divorce when I was 10.  My father thought that with the divorce he would be free to marry my mothers friend, but things did not work out as he had planned.  When the divorce was final we moved 150 miles away to live with my grand parents until my mother could get a job.  He became a millionaire in the real estate boom, and would never pay a dime in child support and would only visit 1-2 times per year.  So we went from living in a house and 3 new Cadillac’s to driving an old Toyota with a cracked dash, foam coming out of the seats and a rust hole in the hood.  We lived in a trailer that my grandfather purchased rented to us to cover the mortgage payment and the Christian school gave us scholarships.   All of a sudden I was on the honor roll and I no longer was going to the principals office every week, however, I was now the new city boy in a small redneck town and I now was the target of bullies.

My mother never spoke negatively about my father and would always tell us to pray for him and love him the way God loves us.  When my father would visit 1-2 times per years we would tell him we love him and Jesus loves him.  When I was 15 years old one day when he was visiting we stood by his car outside the church and I lead him to the Lord.  He still had a long way to go.

Later I went to a Bible college to study youth ministry, was able to tour the northeast and do musicals and performances.  Then went to Liberty University and was a youth pastor at one of the largest churches in the country.  They paid for my Master’s in counseling while I was doing a comedy club for teens at the church.

When I was 24 years old I visited my father for new years and I took him to the Darian’s grave.  My grandmother begged me not to take him as he had finally quit drinking and was starting to come around.  I insisted and when we found it my father was breathing heavy and I told him for the first time “he knows God because of Darian” and he was surprised and I never saw my father cry until this day and I prayed with him and thanked Darian for how God used her.  Darian ministered to my parents when she went to the Christian day care but they thought Christians were fanatics.

When I came to know the Lord, God did not make my life perfect as there was still abuse, affairs, and alcoholism around me and I was still going to the office for bullying until I abuse stopped at home (after the divorce).  But God carried me and my family through tough times and has given me the blessing to share with others how forgiveness for my father and loving him with God’s love is how I was able to break the curse of bitterness and resentment towards my father.  Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Now I help victims of bullying with my school consultations, I help them fly under the bullies radar by giving them social skills, and work with kids of abuse and divorce.

I also specialize in ADHD, because my brother was 4 years younger than me and struggled with ADHD and my mother had to stay on him constantly to get him through school.  She would continue to ride him through college to help him get a 4 year degree in 5 years.  My brother became a missionary in Portugal helping youth, a great  father, and husband and adored by those he leads.